Well, here goes nothing

Since I don't use a journal or a diary, I figured hey, what the heck, let's blog my nonsensical thoughts.

Right now I'm trying to think about what I want to drain from my cyclone of thoughts while I listen, hopefully, to what are the sounds of Cadence settling down for a nap. I've just put her in her crib, trying to teach her how to go to sleep without rocking. It doesn't sound hopeful. There is a sad mewling sound coming from the direction of her bedroom. Makes it hard to think about much else. The mewling is getting louder and so is the guilty feeling I have of not sitting in the rocking chair with her, making sleep come much easier to her. Do I wait her out? If I do, how long is fair to both of us?

Looks like your first read is going to be of broken train of thought since I have just decided to go and get my sad baby girl from her crib, and surrender this time to the bedtime battle of the wills. I'll continue this blog once I help my daughter to sleep. I'll be back.

Twenty minutes later, my 9 month old is off to dreamland. Now I'll try not to think about all the stuff I have to do around the house (you know, "house goddess" duties) and get this first blog completed.

I guess the thing that is front and centre on my mind these days is H1N1. I've been doing a lot of reading about vaccinations and was startled to discover how much CRAP is involved (ie: politics, conspiracy theories, side affects). I have made the decision not to get vaccinated and not to vaccinate my baby girl. I gave the choice to my two teens, but insisted they educate themselves about these vaccinations. They both decided not to go for the shot. My boyfriend Kerry decided not to as well. My big fear is the possible neurological side affects that are mostly generated by the ajuvent ingredients in the vaccine.

In the last couple of days however, the WRHA decided that it would offer the unajuvented vaccine (previously exclusive to pregnant women) to the general public. So now I am on the fence again. But I don't get it: if it's been deemed that the ajuvent isn't necessary in order for the vaccine to be effective, then why was it there in the first place? Guess I have some more reading to do and another decision to make. Also, it's well into November and I can' t help but wonder if we haven't all been exposed to this flu already? If so, why bother getting vaccinated? Sigh. It's really hard when you're not just responsible for yourself and have to make, possibly life-altering, decisions for other people who rely on your mind body and soul.

Well, looks like dreamland shut the door on little cady and she's crying right now so I guess it's more rocking and less typing for Candace today. That's the end of blog #1